The Starbucker

<< Will the real coffee lover please stand up?

I normally don’t post the same entry in here as the one in my Xanga, but this I-am-awesome-’cause-I-drink-at-Starbucks epidemic has to stop. When did Starbucks become the coffee place? Was I asleep when this happened? Everyone is at Starbucks and they even look damned proud to be there. I feel like whacking these pseudo-fashionistas upside the head whilst screaming, "Dude, it’s a Starbucks, not a Cafe in Paris! Enough with the projecting, you’re not at a photo shoot."

Actually, what enrages me the most, is that these Starbuckers have the nerve to profess to the whole wide world that they’re coffee lovers. Coffee lover, my ass!

I, Danabelle Gutierrez, am a coffee lover. You, Poserella Starbucker, are not.

The difference being that, I can distinguish good, high-class, grade-A coffee, while these classless losers, on the other hand, wouldn’t notice if they were served steaming liquid-diarrhea crap so long as it comes in a logo’d cup.

Starbucks is over-rated and over-priced. I went there a couple of years back expecting to have a decent cappuccino, instead what I got was something that you’d want to flush down the crapper where it safely belongs. And no, I’m not basing this entry on just that one experience, I’ve gone there several times each time hoping to get something drinkable, unfortunately however, I am left disappointed every time.

I’m being unfair? Really? Ok, then by all means dear Starbucker, please do enlighten me. How the hell do you expect me to believe that you’re a coffee lover when each and every one of the drinks that they serve over at that place you love so much has the acid level of a fat kid’s profusely sweating armpit? Do you seriously not notice that the coffee there is so sour that it kinda gives you an urge to chop up some garlic and chili pepper, mix it with the coffee, and use that as a dip for your steamed crab? Honestly?

Drinking at Starbucks is like listening to pop music. It’s popular, alright, but is it really any good? (Boy-band, anyone?)

Shit + Hot water =

Disclaimer: Apologies to anyone who may have been offended. However, I still stand by the fact that anyone who drinks at Starbucks is either a wannabe or a person who enjoys drinking manure. Which one are you?

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