The Page Pimp

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To my dear dear dear fellow Friendsters:

All 86 of you who are in my friends list; all 4,954 of you who are friends of friends; all 258,206 of you who are friends of friends of friends; and all of you other people that I have no direct connection to who reside in Friendsterland: Greetings!

It’s been a little over a month now that Mr. President Friendsterman has allowed us to pimp our profile pages (Yeah, baby, yeah! Thank you Mr. President Friendsterman. *Big hug*) and along with the bliss of being able to have more creative control over our profile pages, I have noticed a very depressing trend. WTH is up with the over-pimped pages?!?!

(Personal Message to owner of the above profile page: Advanced Happy Birthday! Consider being the only over-pimped profile page screenshot on my blog as a birthday gift. LOL. You know I love yah. So, please change your background. Hehehe!)

As much as I love visiting profile pages to add to the evergrowing number of times your pages have been viewed (I know y’all memorize those figures, admit it.), I am haunted by the fear of losing my eyesight whilst viewing profile pages.

And everytime I click on a link to a Friendster profile, I am filled with trepidation that by the time these load:

glittery animated background + collection of 1000 MSN icons and animated GIFs + sloppy java scripts + music videos (yes, I’ve seen pages with as much as 4!!!) + flash movies

I’d have had 10 grandchildren, half of which would have graduated from college.

Oh and the color combinations that they use… And background images (Please see over-pimped profile page screenshot above.) that makes every word on the darn page illegible. Man oh man. Small piece of advice, if you have to do anything (i.e. squint, tilt your head, look at it from above/below/the side, highlight) to be able to read the text on your profile page, then dude, you have seriously over-pimped your page.

Me looking at over-pimped Friendster profiles

Don’t get me wrong (We wouldn’t want that.), I like to think of all y’all as creative and intelligent people. And yes of course, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but to be able to decide on whether a page is beautiful or not, one would need their eyes - which after looking at pages with background colors from the computer palette circa 1992 (For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, think, the rainbow-like stripes they use on t.v. channels at around 3:00 am when there are no more shows.), they will no longer have.

Basically what I am trying to say is this: Your over-pimped pages could create a Spontaneous-seizure-epidemic that would put the 2001 Videogame-induced-photosensitive-epilepsy-contagion to shame. So, please do the people in Friendsterland a huge favor and dial the pimping down.

I had planned to actually place screenshots of all the profile pages that I thought were the epitome of over-pimping, but then I couldn’t bring myself to taint my beautiful blog with those horrid images, so I’ve decided that we should play "Good Pimp/Bad Pimp" with some of them instead (Yes, these are not all. There were many, many, many more.)

Remember, click at your own risk…

Good Pimp (Yeah, I know it’s mine. Yeah, I know I’m a narcissist.)
Bad Pimp
Good Pimp
Bad pimp
Good Pimp
Bad Bad Bad Pimp

Disclaimer: To the owners of the profile pages that were used as examples, particularly to those whose pages were used as examples of bad pimping - Please restrain yourself from reacting violently. Disparaging you in any way was not my intention. Ang mapikon panget.

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