The ‘H’ Factor
<< ‘H’ as in "Hate", Bhobhah!!!
My brother listed down the "things that make him go EWWW!!!" and one of them stood out to me in particular - that is the random inserting of ‘H’s in one’s name. For example, my name is ‘Danabelle’ and so the randomly-inserted-H version would be ‘Dhahnahbhelle’ (Yes, we Pinoys have a knack for making things ultra complicated).
As silly as all this sounds, I hate to be a hypocrite, and so I must confess that back in my teeny-bopper stage I did give in to inserting H’s into my name (I actually used to spell my name as ‘Dannah’, primarily because I thought re-spelling your name was so ‘kewl’ and secondly because people kept pronouncing it as ‘Day-nuh’. Don’t they know that I’m Pinay and it’s supposed to be pronounced as Dah-nah?!?! *!&#)$!!!). I was so young then and I didn’t know any better than to shame my parents by re-spelling my beautiful name, however now that I do, I would like to just say a few words to the people who don’t…
Dear H-Inserters,
To all the teeny-boppers, I forgive you - provided that you will get over this phase before you turn eighteen.
To all the non-teeny boppers, that’s exactly it. You are no longer teenagers. Hence, the H-inserting has got to stop. Randomly inserting an ‘H’ in your name doesn’t make you anymore "suffixicated" than it does a monkey wearing a gown, so if this is how you think you’ll get your way into the Hot, Hip, and Happening list, then you’d best start investing in cartons and cartons of Bling H20 to carry around with you whilst writing your name in that manner in order to make up for the squatter-like vibes that the spelling of your name emits. My brother’s right, all it does is make you look gangsta-jologs, yeah, kinda like Ghettondo-not-so-fabulous. And oh, while we’re on the subject substituting ‘DIs’ or ‘DYs’ for ‘J’ is also ‘gangsta-diologs’.
Yhou dhig? Ghet the phicthure? Chatch mhy dhrift? Nho? Really? Whell, yhou cahn ghoh phuck yhouhrshelf thehn…
As Always,
D.
PS: What I meant by "phuck" was "To hit yourself with a hockey puck". *Snorts and mutters: Yeah, right.*
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