Nutritionless Conversations of the Absurd Part 1

On Music

>> While watching Madonna’s newest video

Anya: "I hate this song. She should retire already."
Mamu: "Well you know, maybe she’s trying to secure her children’s future."
Anya: "But she’s already rich."
Mamu: "Well maybe she’s trying to secure her children’s future forever ever."
Anya: "Ever ever?"

>> Anya mindlessly singing Get Together by Madonna

Mamu: "Oh, akala ko ba you hate that song."
Anya: "I do. But I have LSS. Make me stop, please."

>> After watching the video of ‘I don’t feel like dancing’ by the Scissor Sisters, Anya in a semi-catatonic state holds her chest and breathes deeply…

Mamu: "What’s wrong?"
Anya: "I feel so violated."

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On tongue/lip biting

>> While having brunch at Sahara Centre

Anya: "Arrrgggmmmffff. I bit my lip. Number please."
Mamu: "Seven"
Anya: "G? *Gasps* How did you know?!?!"

>> While having dinner at home

Anya: "Ouch! I bit my toungue. Number please."
Mamu: "Twelve"
Papi: "Six"
Mami: "Ten"
Anya: "Whaaa?"
Mami: "Ok so ten plus six is sixteen."
Mamu: "Twelve is L, Sixteen is P"
Papi: "LP? Ano yan record?"
Mamu: "Uyyy. L! Lucero!"
Anya: "Whaaa? Eh ano yung P?"
Mami/Papi/Mamu: "Pangasinan"
Anya: "Mweset."

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On Love

>> Before going to bed

Mamu: "I envy you. At least you have a lovelife…"
Anya: *interrupting* "What lovelife? Pantasya ko lang yun."
Mamu: "Well at least may pinagpapantasyahan ka."
Anya: "Ganon?"

>> Still before going to bed

Mamu: "Alam mo ang bagay sa’yo, hindi Pilipino. You should be with a European or a Westerner."
Anya: "Eh…"
Mamu: "Hindi nga kasi strong ang personality mo, eh ang mga Pinoy men will just leech of off you… Magiging pabigat lang sila sa’yo…"
Anya: *pensive mode*
Mamu: "It’s true, at least kung European or Westerner or Kano kaya kang sabayan. Di’ba?"
Anya: "Ayoko. Di ko sila type. Hindi sila naghuhugas ng p’wet."
Mamu: "Edi turuan mo, gaga!"
Anya: "Pahirapan daw ba ko. Gusto ko yung trained na."

(Ano yun aso?)

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On other things

>> While assembling Mami’s kitchen shelf and struggling to get the screws in place.

Mamu: "Osige, ikaw ang magpasok ako ang magbabaon… Ay parang porno."

>> After watching Kuya’s unlabeled/pirated copy of Blue Moon

Mami: "Sulatan natin (Referring to the unlabeled CD.)"
Papi: "Sino? Si Manuel?"

>> While swimming at the country club and being amused by a cute little Polski/Russian girl talking to us in her native tongue as if we understand her.

Anya: *chuckling* "Ang cute cute n’ya, parang s’ya yung…"
Mamu: "Fifth Element!"
Anya: "Yun nga."

>> While swimming at the country club watching a huge man in a teeny tiny neon yellow bananahammock walk by.

Mamu: "Oh, naviolate ka na naman ba?"
Anya: "Oh the horror. Please make it stop!!! Make it stooooppp!!!"

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